Episode 43 - Off the Mark (1987)

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Episode 06 - Demons/Demons 2

        Episode 06 - Demons/Demons 2








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Scare-A-Con

Coolidge Corner Theater

Popcorn (1991)

Long gone are the days of the gimmick film where seats buzzed, and when ghosts and monsters roamed the aisles. The amazing William Castle, who entertained audiences with such greats as House on Haunted Hill and 13 Ghosts, believed he could provide thrills outside of the silver screen. Rigging the theater with all sorts of proprietary gags made Castle a name to be recognized. With almost every other week a 3D film being released into theaters nowadays it's a little hard to think that a film in 3D was a rare treat.

Perhaps it was the changing tastes of the movie-going public that brought the end to theater gimmicks, but there are two great examples of tribute to the lost art form. The first being Joe Dante's overlooked period piece Matinee, with an outstanding performance by John Goodman in tribute to the late Castle. The other film that tips its hat to Mr. Castle is the offbeat slasher film, Popcorn.

Popcorn revolves around Maggie, an aspiring screenwriter attending UC Berkley, who keeps having vivid nightmares which she fuels to write her script. While attending class, Maggie's film teacher Mr. Davis tells them they need to get some funds for their department, or risk being shut down. So Mr. Davis enlists the help Dr. Mnesyne, who is a film historian, to re-create the lost art of the gimmick with such thrills as 3D, Shock-O-Scope and Odorama. The goal is to have an all-night horrorthon to raise money for their program.  As the event starts, Maggie starts to learn that her nightmares are repressed memories from her childhood, and it appears that her past has a deadly way of catching up with her.

As a fan of both 80's slashers and 50's Science Fiction, Popcorn is, well... a real treat as a genre fan. It's hard to look at the film as one cohesive story as there are two films going on here, both of which highly entertaining. The kills are all different and rather inventive, and while some of the actors may not be what you'd consider "A-List" (with the exception of the ever lovely Dee Wallace) they suite the film just fine. My favorite moments are the films within the film, serving as the go-between to the slasher stuff. This is just personal preference as the slasher story is handled really well for a film of this type.

Popcorn is a film that pays homage to the long gone B-Movies of the 50's and 60's while keeping modern day audiences appeased with a by-the-numbers slasher sub-plot. Popcorn isn't a film that will be known for re-inventing the genre, but it's a fun look at a bygone era of film making. With a well crafted sub-plot and an energetic script, Popcorn is a film that will entertain those looking for laughs as well as violence.

Popcorn is out of print on DVD, but available from Elite Entertainment. Synapse is supposed to release a special edition Blu-Ray this October, but I haven't heard any updates as of yet.

Rating: 5 out of 5 Trash Bags

Popcorn IMDB

Popcorn Amazon

Popcorn Wiki

The Trash Pack: Contest 08/06/14 to 09/26/14

\I've been spotty with keeping reviews and the podcast up to date, but I do appreciate anyone who has taken the time to listen to an episode, read a review or even share my work with someone else. That's why I'd like to show some appreciation to one lucky reader. I've been teasing the thought of a contest on our Facebook page for sometime now, and here's the deal:

In order to win over 30 DVDs, 30 VHS, a few action figures, comics and more you'll have to comment below with the name of your favorite video store, existing or not. The only other rule is you have to like our Facebook page. It's that simple! This contest will run until Friday, September 26th. I'll then collect all entries, and figure out a winner at random!

Now, these are all the DVDs that will be included, but more VHS will be added once I find some stuff I highly enjoyed, or a couple of more obscurer titles. Right now there's a stack of Punisher mags I have included, but I'll be putting some more horror comics in.

Make sure to like our Facebook page to stay up-to-date on any additions to the Trash Pack contest!

Thanks for reading!

*New Additions 08/26/2014*

We're a month away from the contest ending, so I've added some more stuff to the pack. Here are detailed images of all that is included!

Death Nurse (1987)

I've seen and reviewed my share of ridiculous films throughout my time on this earth, but I find that when watching a film shot-on-video (SOV) I tend to be more relaxed with my feelings. While I will always say The Abomination is a wretched film, there is a lot of entertainment to be had with the right inebriation. There's a certain chunk of salt one has to swallow to enjoy these films, and more often than not they're poorly made and convoluted.

At the Shady Palms nursing home, Nurse Edith and her brother Doctor Gordon take care of their patients. They give them beds, offer food, and unnecessary surgery and murder. While more patients are brought in for their "exquisite" care, Edith and Gordon take turns either performing surgery or suffocating, stabbing. Soon though they find themselves with more corpses than they can handle. What are a murderous brother and sister to do?

Death Nurse is a pretty baffling movie. At the staggering 57 minute run time you are thrown into one of the most weirdly edited, shot and acted films ever. Again, that's not saying it's bad, but, well... It's bad. In an enjoyable way, but you're scratching your head as to why most of these decisions were made. Long shots of actors doing nothing. Dream sequences that are never explained, also these sequences were taken from the film Criminally Insane, so they obviously needed the padding.

The acting from Priscilla Alden is spot-on with its awfulness. It's wooden and no awards will be given for her performance, but it's endearing. The "production value" of the film was that of probably one weekend, the director's family/friends, 5 VHS tapes, a Panasonic camcorder and two VCRs for editing. It's cheap and it shows, but it's never serious and allows for organic laughs with the dark humor while everything else in the movie provides the unintentional chuckles.

Death Nurse isn't going to win any awards, but it's a movie to throw on with a group of friends. It's under an hour of your life, and most of us paid to sit through Avatar. That shit was like 3 hours. You could watch Death Nurse, Death Nurse 2 and two episodes of the Simpsons in that time frame and be more entertained that tree sex bullshit.

Rating: 2 1/2 out of 5 Trash Bags

Death Nurse is available from Slasher // Video, but it is limited to 1,000 units.

Hamburger: The Motion Picture (1986)

When 'Porky's' hit it big in the early '80s, a wave of sex comedies aimed at teens were excreted from every producer in and out of Hollywood. A low budget sex romp was almost guaranteed ROI for anyone wanting to make a name for themselves, so we were "given" films like 'Hot Resort' with Bronson Pinchot. That's not to say that there aren't some genuinely funny moments in these films, but it's like finding a stack of cash in a port-a-potty. You may have come up on top, but you still had to wade through a lot of shit.

The appropriately named 'Hamburger: The Motion Picture' was a cover that I had seen plastered in almost every mom 'n pop video store I had been in. What pre-teen wouldn't be excited over naked women busting out of a giant hamburger? Well, I guess kids nowadays wouldn't be interested, but that's for a different blog. Throughout the years, I had wondered if a DVD release of this film was to ever happen, let alone some type of streaming capability via Netflix. Low and behold, a VHS copy happened to be in a lot we had purchased.

'Hamburger: The Motion Picture' tells the story of Russell, a college man whose studies have gone astray due to the copious amount of intercourse he enjoys. The ladies just can't have enough Russell, and it's caused him to be expelled from four different universities. While getting reamed out by his parents at home, a commercial for Buster Burger University appears on TV. Russell enrolls at BBU, and finds himself at the mercy of Drootin, the drill sergeant of making hamburgers. Also, because this movie is full of cliches, Russell also finds himself falling for the Buster Burger heiress, who also happens to be engaged to Drootin. Will Russell overcome his slacker lifestyle? Will he defeat Drootin and get the girl? Find out in 'Hamburger: The Motion Picture"!



Before we continue, please try to enjoy the opening credits of this film:

The absurdity of this movie is summed in the opening credits. The song sounds like a mesh of Bon Jovi and  Bruce Springsteen, while featuring a montage of delicious hamburgers. What a shit show. It's horribly edited, and tells you that Americans are fucking fat and eat a ton of meat. So, here's a view into a satirical take on a franchise restaurant like McDonald's, add a mix of characters from better films and you have 'Hamburger: The Motion Picture'. It's not a bad film by any stretch of the imagination, but in no way is it any good either.

There are really only three standout performances in the entire film, and that is from the lead portrayed by Leigh McClosky, Charles Tyner who plays the founder of Buster Burger and Dick Butkus; just because it's the greatest name ever. In terms of comedy, the film only has a few standout moments, but that seems to be from a weak script. I don't see fault in the actors, but more so in the mediocre script by Donald Ross. Not familiar with the name? Well, unless you were watching a shit-load of 'Murder She Wrote' or 'Small Wonder' that doesn't surprise me. It seems like this was his first break in writing a film script, but he should have put this dud back on the grill.

At the end of the day, 'Hamburger: The Motion Picture' will fade into obscurity. There's nothing original in the film, and outside of a few physical gags and one-liners, there is not much to recommend. With a wide array of 80's sex comedies to choose from, you're better off going with a tried and true classic.

Rating: 2 out of 5 Trash Bags

IMDB

Amazon Page

Wikipedia Page

The Battery (2013)

bat·ter·y  

/ˈbatərē/ : A container consisting of one or more cells carrying an electric charge and used as a source of power.

Independent horror fare is a dime a gross. More often than not someone (like yours truly) thinks that they can grab a camera, and make the next 'Night of the Living Dead' or 'Blair Witch Project'. The sad truth is that most of these productions lack competency, but they still find their audience. Those examples stated above are the obscurity. The odd balls. Thankfully, I've never (successfully) attempted to make a film.

'The Battery' is a project where determination and passion outweighs any financial hurdles most films run into. The production was made for $6,000 and was shot in a staggering 15 days. Those figures alone should make any Hollywood production flip their respective shits. Through friends, co-workers and family the film was financed, filmed and edited.

'The Battery' is the story of two baseball players, Ben (Jeremy Gardner) and Mickey (Adam Cronheim) who are traveling across New England aimlessly. The only problem is that there are zombies at every turn, so the two men decide to venture in the woods for fear of overrun cities. In their journey through a deserted neighborhood, the two men come upon a pair of two-way radios, and find a conversation amongst two survivors: Annie and Frank. The two are discussing items for Annie's "shopping list" which happens to include a copy of the movie 'Tremors' for a child's birthday at The Orchard. Mickey attempts to communicate, but is told by Frank to never use this channel again. 

Ben and Mickey begin to travel further into the wilderness, but tempers between the two rise. Ben, the realist of the two, pushes Mickey to accept the reality that the vision of things going back to normal won't happen. Mickey represents the romantic of the group. Hiding away in his headphones, he refuses to acknowledge the hand that has been dealt, and hopes and dreams for the world as he knew it to return. Ben and Mickey are the two ends of a battery, a term used to describe their relation as pitcher and catcher, but also their positions in life.

Jeremy Gardner's 'The Battery' is a crowning achievement in simplicity.  Keeping the cast and locations limited allows for the dialogue between the two protagonists to shine. The conversations between Ben and Mickey flow with ease between the two leads, and it feels like both Gardner and Cronheim have been acting for years. The supporting cast, while limited to only a handful, is present in the screenplay to serve as plot devices to further our look into the relationship between Ben and Mickey. With outstanding acting, the film moves at a rather excellent clip.

The cinematography is another highlight of 'The Battery' as the vivid New England landscape is captured in its rawest form by Christian Stella. The beauty of nature plays just as important of a character as Ben and Mickey by being the one constant in the world of the walking dead. Finally, the soundtrack is one of the best you'll hear in years with artists like Wise Blood and Rock Plaza Central are used to heighten the emotional journey between Ben and Mickey.

'The Battery' is a film that is simply a must-see. Whether you're a horror fan or just a fan of movies in general there is a lot of positives find in 'The Battery'. From an emotional character arc for each of the protagonists to gorgeous cinematography plus a fantastic soundtrack, Jeremy Gardner is a name to watch for in the upcoming years. It all starts here.

'The Battery' will be hitting VOD this June with a physical release later in the year.

Rating: 5 out of 5 Trash Bags

The Battery Facebook Page

The Battery Official Page

A Visual Schedule

Here's the selection of films we will be reviewing over the next several months.

First Row: SeedPeople, The Ladies Club, The Sender, Chained Heat, Sky Pirates, Death Machine, Night of the Scarecrow, Mutant.

Second Row: Prisoners of the Lost Universe, Angel, McGinsey's Island, Red Heat, Avenging Force, Unmasked Part 25, RawHead Rex.

Third Row: The Dirt Bike Kid, Fast Food, Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks, SpellCaster, Vice Academy 2, The Brain.

 

First Row: Making Contact, The New Adventures of Pipi Longstocking, Night of the Demon, Ticks, Brain Damage, Silent Night Deadly Night Special (1-5).

Second Row: Damned River, The Kiss, Black Evil, Mortuary, Godzilla vs. Biollante, Carnosaur Special (1-3), The Deadly Spawn/Metamorphosis, Maniac Cop Special (1-3).

Third Row: Creepers, Bad Channels, Demon Wind, The Offspring, The Legend of Blood Castle, Head of the Family, Lifeforce, Murder in Space, China Girl, The Lightening Incident.

Fourth Row: The Manitour, Mirror Mirror, Rest in Pieces, Up From the Depths, Junior, Comin' At Ya!, The Boneyard, America, The Rejuvinator.

 

First Row: Terror on Tour.

Second Row: Cast a Deadly Spell, Balloon Farm.

Third Row: Uninvited, Evil Spirits, Survival Quest.

Fourth Row: Spookies, The Kindred, Blood Beach, Never Too Young to Die

 

Comment below with what titles you'd like to see us review on the show.

Fatal Games (1984)

When looking back through the history of film there was no time for Horror like that of the 1980's. With the video boom in full swing producers were able to turn out cheap imitations of more popular titles. When 'Friday the 13th' hit in 1980 the era of the Slasher was paved, and the home video market never was the same. At around the time that the novelty was wearing thin (the first time) there were more Slashers in your rental store than in your local theater. The market was over-saturated, and the ROI for these films became less and less.

This is where a film like 'Fatal Games' comes in; riding the Slasher coattails. Released by Media films in 1984 it's a film that many nowadays won't know, but to those who saw the wonderfully drawn cover in a video store may have been duped into renting.

'Fatal Games' starts off with a montage of hopeful Olympians training in their respective sports. It's topped off by the wonderfully cheesy song which states "winning isn't everything; it's the only thing". What struck me as odd with 'Fatal Games' is that there isn't an opening murder to give you the tone of the film, and instead it feels like you're watching some after school special. We're then thrust into the world of seven athletes who are competing in the national...something or other. As these seven Olympic hopefuls train to better themselves for the big game there is an unseen force, yielding a javelin, taking the youths out one by one.

Honestly, the above plot summary might seem a little light on description, but believe me that this was one forgettable Slasher. What films like 'Silent Night, Deadly Night', 'Friday the 13th', and 'My Bloody Valentine' have in common are elaborate death sequences that keep you watching. 'Fatal Games' on the other hand has none of that. Some Slasher films use their shortcomings by upping the gore quotient, but again 'Fatal Games' fails to deliver. Every victim, with the exception of the killer, die by the aforementioned javelin. The first kill was a laugh out loud moment as I just didn't see it coming. I mean seriously? A javelin? It's too absurd to be scary, and it just becomes comical. After the fourth kill it started to get a little excruciating, and then we're just stuck with this image for 84 minutes of overacting.

There is only one actor (a term I use loosely) that uses any range in their deliveries, and that is Sally Kirkland, who was nominated for an Oscar in 1988 for 'Anna'. I really didn't find her to be "Oscar Caliber" in 'Fatal Games', but then again, there is nothing award worthy here. The characters are all flat, and their deaths just don't mean anything when you don't give a shit about them. Each actor seems to come from an authentic sports background, so I guess that adds some legitimacy? Maybe not, but other than the actual school location there aren't really too many positives about 'Fatal Games'.

Probably often rented in the mid to late '80s, but has been forever out-of-print since the early '90s. 'Fatal Games' can be found in parts on YouTube, and I've included the first part down below. This is a film for those Slasher enthusiasts who need to see every film. There are only so many times you can see the same kill over and over again. Unoriginal kills lead way to paying attention to the actions of the characters, and that just makes 'Fatal Games' another painful excuse in home video treachery.

Rating: 1 out of 5 Trash Bags

IMDB Page

Amazon Page

Enjoy the full movie! If you can stomach it.

Trash Pile Top 10: Horror Posters

We as Horror fans are often drawn to films by their artwork. The physical representation of the media more often than not is better than the film. If the movie art was just a steaming pile of shit, and it had the title 'The Abomination' you probably you wouldn't rent it. However, as you can read in my review, a lot of the times the cover will lure you in.

Regardless of the films quality their art was what studios used  to sell the film. If 'Blood Beach' didn't have the fantastic poster to accompany it perhaps it wouldn't be as fondly remembered by those of the video rental era.

To compile a list of the 10 best posters is a tall order. Throughout the decades of filmmaking   there have been thousands of fantastic posters, especially in genre films. From 50's  Creature Features to 80's Slashers, I'll do my best  to cover my favorites from everything.

10. Q - The Winged Serpent (1982) Director: Larry Cohen

As a film 'Q' isn't one of my favorite Larry Cohen features (that goes to 'The Stuff'), but the poster featured above is a phenomenal example of how to sell a movie.

9. A Tale of Two Sisters (2003) Director: Jee-woon Kim

This is an example of when a poster truly captures a film. It is both haunting, and beautiful. Exactly what 'A Tale of Two Sisters' turns out to be in an exemplary tale of family horror.

8. Frogs (1972) Director: George McCowan

It's a movie poster that features a frog with a human hand sticking out of its mouth. Why would you not want to watch that movie?

7. House (1986) Director: Steve Miner

The simplicity in the poster for 'House' is that the basic image of a severed hand ringing a doorbell is so well drawn. Seeing the individual nerves, and the shading on the bone is phenomenal. 

6. I Spit on Your Grave (1978) Director: Meir Zarchi

As with most exploitation films, 'I Spit on Your Grave'  has a very eye-grabbing poster. With text exploding off the page to grab the viewer you're left with the brutal imagery of a woman yielding a knife who has obviously been through some shit. 

5. Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954) Director: Jack Arnold

While more people tend to think of 'Frankenstein' or 'Dracula' as the more famous Universal Monsters, there's something about the Gillman. The poster is amazingly drawn, giving movement to Julia Adams' hair, and the oncoming rescue attempt by our films heroes. 

4.  Happy Birthday to Me (1981) Director: J. Lee Thompson

One of the best Slasher posters of all time. Captures the silliness of the film while the text makes you want to see how "bizarre" these murders really will be.

3.  Jaws (1975) Director: Steven Spielberg

One of the most iconic posters of all time. The speed of the shark approaching the swimmer already adds fear just looking at the poster. A great representation of the film.

2. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) Director: Tobe Hooper

You have to applaud Tobe Hooper and his crew for this hysterical duplication of the iconic 'Breakfast Club' pose. 

1. A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) Director: Chuck Russell

Not only is 'Dream Warriors' my favorite installment in the Nightmare on Elm Street series, it also happens to be my favorite poster of all time. From the colors to the setting to the imagery, I honestly don't think you can get much better than this. 

There are hundreds of other great posters out there, and these are only a select few. As always thanks for reading, and please check out The Trash Pile TV show airing on blogTV every Tuesday at 10:00pm

The Abomination (1986)

One of the best/worst things to come out of the VHS boom of the 1980's was the advent of movies Shot on Video (SOV). Independent filmmakers with access to a camcorder would churn out all sorts of genre fare that studios wouldn't produce. It's pretty shitty when you think about it, but you have to go out on your own if you want to make your film. The sad universal truth is that most studios wouldn't touch these movies "with a ten meter cattle prod", to quote Ray Stantz.

SOV Horror movies might be god awful, but that's not to say there isn't a charm to them. While the script and direction are often deplorable, the cinema style of Ed Wood comes to mind. Believing in your story, regardless of what little talent you have. Such is the case with the film 'The Abomination'. I had been exposed to SOV movies for some time now as I had viewed 'Redneck Zombies' and 'Dead Next Door' many times in my youth, but this was a title that hadn't come across my radar. Then I saw copies of the VHS selling on eBay for around or over $100, and wanted to know why the hell this movie was so sought after? Was it some sort of lost gem of the SOV horror genre? Then I got a DVD-r at a Horror convention. Then I found out why they named it.

The film starts out showing all the violent moments that you're going to witness during the opening credits. I guess this was so that we wouldn't have to sit through this awful film. After about 4 minutes of repeated scenes we are thrown into the world of Cody Lee, who is having a lot of problems with his mother. Apparently the doctors say she has a tumor in her lung, and it is inoperable, but she hasn't given up hope. She turns to Brother Frogg, a televangelist who promises to heal those who send in their social security checks. After she places her hand on the TV set during a prayer, she violently coughs up a bloody chunk the size of a biscuit. Saying hallelujah she throws the disgusting heap in the trash, but only to have it grow in size.

Cody comes home after driving around with his friends, for what appears to be 5 hours and goes to bed. The tumor then springs to life, and climbs its way into Cody's sleeping mouth. Cody then starts feeling strange, and discovers that the tumor is some type of monster who devours humans whole. As the tumor starts to multiply Cody must feed the beasts, and let the abomination take over the world!

The one thing that you have to really admire about these independent productions is that they have original stories. That tends to be the only thing to really admire as the acting, direction, script and almost everything else is offensive. It sounds like that they couldn't record any audio while they were filming, so they decided to record the audio in someone's shower. It's louder than a Manowar concert, and the mix is just terrible. It's this that really makes the dialogue hysterical. No actor, a term I use loosely, could act their way out of a paper bag, let alone carry a film. Then, there is the notion that Cody is talking to a psychiatrist at some point during the film, but then it's never revealed who he's talking to, if anyone. Then there is a 4-minute run time of a biblical quote about the abomination. It starts to really cause a migraine after the first minute.

For those of us who just want to see the gore in the movie, well, I'd honestly say find a way to watch the film for that alone. The effects are memorable in their creativity, but overall the film is a fucking shit show. Running all over the place in terms of pacing, acting and direction. The editing choices are mind boggling, but if you're in the mood for one awful fucking movie, then seek out 'The Abomination'.

'The Abomination' is available on VHS from Donna Michelle Productions, but good fucking luck trying to find it. eBay is the best option, but, like I said you're going to have to pay for it. It's best to find a site that distributes DVD-r versions of OOP movies, and shell out $10 instead of $100. Even then, it's probably not worth it unless you're dying to see it.

Rating: 1 1/2 out of 5 Trash Bags

IMDB Page

Amazon Page

Slugs (1988)

If there's one thing to learn from Steven Spielberg's 'Jaws' it's that producers love to steal ideas. The amount of giant killer animal, and nature takes revenge films that came out after the summer of '75 is absurd. There are some stellar examples of films that understood what their "stories" were, and tried to make the best of it.

As is the case with any sub-genre you're often left with more bad than good. For every 'Orca' there's 'Up From the Depths' and 'Claws'. For every 'Birds' there's 'Frogs' and 'Day of the Animal'. It's a viscous shit cycle, but man do I love me some shitty movies. If you're thinking that the movie 'Slugs' can't really be about giant killer slugs, well, you're right. These are just your ordinary garden slugs, but with one exception; they crave human flesh!

In a small town, like every other horror film, a couple goes out on a boat in the middle of a lake. Suddenly the boy gets pulled into the water by an unseen force. The girl laughs as she thinks it's a prank, but little does she know that her boyfriend is being devoured alive by toxic slugs! She screams as a blood pool floats to the surface.

Town Health Inspector Mike Brady is apparently also the town sheriff, as he goes out to every emergency situation in the entire town. People are dying left and right all in bizarre fashion, and there are always slimy slugs at the scene. Mike takes a live slug to his friend, who happens to be a chemist, or biologist type scientist. Apparently these slugs have been feeding off of toxic chemicals and now have developed an insatiable taste for warm flesh! I could go on, but I highly doubt a movie about killer, man-eating slugs needs much of a plot.

Like many other films on this website, this was a VHS cover I had seen in every video store in the early '90s. I mean shit, look at that cover. That guy has had the rest of him devoured by slugs, and he's still screaming as they devour the rest of his face. That has "Rent Me" plastered all over it. The first time I got around to seeing this film I was shocked to find out that it was a Spanish/American production, and with that, some hysterical dubbing. The acting in this film, regardless of the performer's nationality, is bottom of the barrel. Some real cringe inducing dialogue allows for some real unintentional hilarity.

If you've seen director Juan Piquer's 'Pieces', then you should know the gore factor is at 11. The situations where the characters die are fucking priceless. There's a couple having sex, and then the girl falls off the bed to be eaten alive by the titular slugs. Then the guy falls to his death. We also see a guy whose digested some slug to have a collection of blood worms spew from his eyes while his face melts off. It's one of those times you know if they remade this film that all these effects would be CGI, and that makes me a sad panda. The highlight of the film though is when Mike has to kill all of the slugs, and blows them up in the methane filled sewer beneath the city. Then the town proceeds to blow up killing dozens of unnamed citizens in the explosion.

'Slugs' is one of the pinnacles of bad movies. The dialogue, acting and premise are fucking awful. I mean seriously? Killer slugs? However, if you're like me you live for these ridiculous violent horror movies you'll probably find a lot to enjoy in 'Slugs'.

'Slugs' available on DVD from Image Entertainment.

Rating: 3 1/2 out of 5 Trash Bags

IMDB Page

Amazon Page

Revenge of the Teenage Vixens from Outer Space (1985)

The mystique of watching movies after midnight was hugely appealing to me in my youth. Of course everyone raves about Cinemax, but my tastes were left to those stations who showed B-movies ranging from the 1950's to the 1990's. In the early '90s stations like USA, and TNT would have late night horror shows on weekend nights. This is how I would see films like 'The Toxic Avenger', 'Return of the Living Dead', 'The Gate' and many other Horror and Cult movies.

It took me a long time to track down 'Revenge of the Teenage Vixens from Outer Space', but I am happy I was able to get a VHS copy of it. As I've said many times before the appeal of watching these films on tape really adds to the charm. One evening in my childhood I remember seeing portions of this movie after my parents had gone to sleep. Like a sore thumb the images of "aliens" zapping teenagers into vegetables was awe-inspiring. I mean shit, even at 26 the concept is still pretty fantastic.

Our story unfolds in the sleepy little town of Mayfield. The school kids all hang out at your a-typical lover's lane, and talk about their lives. Suddenly, like out of a cliche, comes 4 sexy women. It appears these aren't your normal exchange students. In fact, these are horny Vixens from outer space!

There is an issue on their planet however. They have no men, and the only way they can reproduce is by fingering plants. It's pretty gross. During the airing of Elvis Presley on the Ed Sullivan show in 1956 we got the top half of his waist, and the vixen's planet got the lower half. Stealing the boys from all their girlfriends, the Vixen's sexual appetites are not quenched, and begin turning all those in the stand in their way into giant pickles, tomatoes, corn, and even squash!

The film clocks around 72 minutes. They setup the plot right off the bat, and go for broke with horrible dialogue, and even worse effects. This is hilarity in the style of Ed Wood, and it's really that bad. The worst part of the 'Revenge of the Teenage Vixens from Outer Space' is that it's really trying to be a parody, but it fails to see that it's become what it wanted to be. It's got awful effects where a man's face starts to bubble, turn orange, and then BAM! He's a fucking carrot.

The editing is awful, but that's what you get for a movie that was made over the course of 4 years. Started in 1981 you can see characters with different hair styles, different heights and even higher voices. The style of hair for some of these actors is just the worst. The female lead, whose name doesn't matter, has Davy Jones bangs and shockingly can't pull it off. It just takes your eyes away from the slight mustache I suppose.

You can tear apart movies like this all you want, but at the end of the day they're just hysterical. Films like 'Plan 9 from Outer Space' would probably not have been as prevalent if it were made by someone less delusional than Ed Wood. It's topical because the guy made well marketed shit, and loved doing it. The charm you find in an Ed Wood film is very present in 'Revenge of the Teenage Vixens from Outer Space'. It's not good, but damned if it ain't funny.

'Revenge of the Teenage Vixens from Outer Space' is available on VHS from Continental Video, and DVD from Sovereign Pictures.

Rating: 3 out of 5 Trash Bags

IMDB Page

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Trash Pile Top 10: Slasher Deaths

I can't speak for the masses, but there is one main reason I enjoy the Slasher sub-genre; the inventive new methods of disposing victims. There are really only seven to ten different plots in a Slasher film, so that will deter most viewers. The actors are in their late twenties to thirties playing teens, and normally have similar acting range. With that you're left with the special effects, and man oh man do (most) Slasher films bring the latex to the table.

It's hard to pick only ten kills that I find the best. There are many quality moments of carnage, but ten? Well, I'm going to give it a shot.

10. Silent Night, Deadly Night (1985) - Toboggan From Hell
There are so many fantastic moments in 'Silent Night, Deadly Night', but this was one of the best for me. These two kids steal this sled from another group of kids, and they proceed to sled the hill. Little do they know that Billy is going around dressed as Santa killing anyone who he deems naughty. These two hoodlums have an axe awaiting them.



9. Halloween (1978) - Hung Up to Dry
John Carpenter's 'Halloween' is one of the staples of Slasher history. While it wasn't the first to be released, it was the first box office success. By today's standards the death scenes seem tame, Bob's death is iconic. All he wanted to do was get a beer, and ends up getting stabbed in the gut.



8. Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers (1988) - Drugs can kill
The 'Sleepaway Camp' series is one of my favorites. The original has one of the best twist endings of all time, but I love how over-the-top the sequels are. The one liners by the killer, Angela, are some of the funniest in Slasher history. This particular death involves two drugged up sisters who are about to burn up one last time. These puns write themselves, I'm serious.



7. Hatchet (2006) - That's one way to loose your head
Adam Green's 'Hatchet' is one of my favorite horror films of the last few years. I also loved the sequel, maybe more so than the first. The death of the Jim and Shannon Permatteo is phenomenal, and then you see the tongue waggling in the aftermath. Adam Green really knows how to execute his death scenes with hysterical precision.



6. Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood (1988) - Tree Hugging Camper
I love the Friday the 13th series, so it was really hard to come up with just one to put on this list. However, this girl getting slammed into the a tree in her sleeping bag is one of the most brutal, especially the clip shown below, which is in it's uncut form. 'New Blood' was butchered by the MPAA, and apparently Paramount has lost the minutes (!) of deleted gore footage. Here's hoping it's discovered like the 'My Bloody Valentine' footage was back in 2009.



5. Twitch of the Death Nerve (1971) - Speared for Your Pleasure
Outside of Alfred Hitchcock's 'Psycho' and H.G. Lewis's 'Blood Feast', Mario Bava's 'Twitch of the Death Nerve' is one of the first true slashers. The film tells the tale of a crazed family trying to off one another in gruesome ways to inherit the fortune of a dead relative. The film doesn't hold back, and like many Italian Horror films is very graphic. The death of Duke and Denise may be familiar to some as the same exact death was lifted for 'Friday the 13th Part 2'. The clip below shows the death prior, and then the double impalement.



4. A Nightmare on Elm St. (1984) - Well, that's one way to hit the sheets.
Freddy Krueger has always been one of my favorite slashers since I was a kid. I enjoy all of the films in the series ('Dream Warriors' is my favorite), but Glen's (Johnny Depp) death in the original is by far and away one of the most shocking in the series. Not only does this genuinely good guy get killed, he is apparently shredded to death and his remains are spewed from his bed. Then his parents walk in.

Glen's Death on YouTube (New Line has requested no embedding)

3. The Burning (1981) - Raft Trip to Damnation
I love the Weinstein produced 'The Burning'. While the setting of the summer camp may be a tired one 'The Burning' uses it to his best. Using cabins and the woods to his advantage, the avenging killer Cropsey is best when on the river. The first time I saw this scene I was blown away. The amazing effects by Tom Savini are phenomenal, and these 2:05 of brutality show only some of his amazing talents.



2. The Prowler (1981) - Stabbed in the head, and forked to death.
The one-two punch of Sherry and Carl's deaths in 'The Prowler' is amazingly brutal. Carl's eyes roll back in his head, which is just one of the coolest effects in the movie. The villain isn't done yet, and goes to the shower to stab Sherry in the abdomen with his trusty pitchfork. The movie is one of my favorite slashers, and is criminally unseen.



1. My Bloody Valentine (1981) - Silly girl, that's not how you take a shower.
As you can see, the Slasher films from 1981 are my favorite. 'The Prowler', 'The Burning', and 'Friday the 13th Part 2' are all great flicks. Each offering their own brand of sadistic butchery. Then there is 'My Bloody Valentine'. A film I find to be very unique. The cast is all older, and by that I mean they are cast to meet their actual ages. The setting is also fantastic. The scenes in the mine are very atmospheric, and Director George Mihalka makes use of his cinematographer to put the tension on high.

'My Bloody Valentine' had nearly three solid minutes of violence edited due to issues with the MPAA. It was thought to have been lost until the footage was found, and edited back into the film. I already loved this death prior, but seeing this uncut was a true spectacle. Sylvia is being chased around the men's bath area. The villain, Harry Warden, drops mining suits suspended from the ceiling, corralling her into the shower area. Warden then proceeds to pick Sylvia up by her head, and impales the back of her skull on the showerhead, causing blood and water to spew out of her mouth.

I tried to find the clip for you, but alas Lionsgate Entertainment has removed it from all known video sources. So if you've got an insatiable urge for death, give these movies a chance as they're chock full of awesome special effects, and nubile young (cough) teens.


Honorable mentions: Machete to groin (Just Before Dawn), Frozen Head Smash (Jason X), "Welcome to Prime Time, Bitch!" (Nightmare on Elm St. 3: Dream Warriors), Wheelchair Electrocution (Popcorn), Piercing Kevin Bacon's Neck (Friday the 13th), Bullet through eyeglass (Opera). I'm sure I'll think of more and update as I go.

Deathrow Gameshow (1987)

What is the pitch for a show about death row inmates playing for their lives on a game show? What producer has the balls to say, "Hey, what if we take people who are going to die, and give them a chance on a game show to play for their freedom?". It takes care of the prison overpopulation, and it fills the populace's blood lust. It has become a sub-genre of its own over the past few decades with films like 'The Running Man', 'Gamer', 'The Condemned', and 'Death Race' (the remake). They're all action intensive movies, and although black humor comes through the violence; comedies they ain't.

'Deathrow Gameshow' was a title that I had seen in video stores when I was a kid. By the time I was into renting obscure titles many video stores were closing down, or moving to DVD. It's a film that I had been searching for many years to find, and finally got a copy on VHS. That's a lot of hype to see a film about people getting killed on TV, but that VHS cover was imprinted in my brain. I HAD to see this movie. To my surprise upon first viewing it was more a Comedy than a Horror. I mean, sure, a good amount of Cult movies have that over-the-top comedic appeal. 'Deathrow Gameshow' was more alike to the works of the Zucker Brothers with 'Airplane!' or 'The Naked Gun'. Well, it wasn't what I was expecting and that first view was kind of like meeting a long time pen-pal. You have all these great expectations through fantastic conversations, but then find out that they're really off the wall, bat-shit crazy and can only hang out for an hour or so before taking off, because they know they'll overstay their welcome.

America's most popular game show is 'Live or Die' hosted by the charismatic Chuck Toedan. The show is known for its high ratings, and higher moral objection (see what I did there?). Contestants sign a waiver before going on acknowledging that their death could come at any moment. Chuck gets death threats, bomb threats and even threats of sex from crazed fans. OK, that's not so bad but overall it's pretty outrageous.

While promoting 'Live or Die' on a local talk show, he is accosted by Gloria Sternvirgin who is the leader of a local female rights group. I didn't make up that name. They really named her that. Gloria talks about how it's wrong to kill people, but Chuck is quick to remind her that these "contestants" were going to die anyways. He's giving them a chance to live, and their families also receive great prizes if their loved ones die. The two exit the interview, and Gloria confronts Chuck about his horrible lifestyle. Then, suddenly, out of a cliche comes two armed hitmen coming to take his life. Chuck grabs Gloria into the car, and they're off taking out the assailants on their way.

A few years back a mob boss died after he had passed his challenge; The Dance of the Seven Boners. You see, if he got an erection a motion device would trigger his electrocution. Well, he survived the model but it turns out that Chuck's manly touch is what did the boss in. Ever since he's had numerous attempts on his life. Gloria is thought to be in cahoots with Chuck (as is the case with every budding romance in a Cult movie), and is made a target as well. Will these two bite the bullet, or will they make it through to the other side? Find out on 'Deathrow Gameshow'!

Like I said, I was expecting a Horror movie and got a Zucker sytle Comedy. I love stupid, silly movies but was not expecting this. I decided to give the film a second view. After all, the hunt for such a film must return a positive experience, right? Right? Well, yes and no. The film is still pretty bad, but there are spots that are pretty funny. Visual gags like "Slow Children", and the kids are moving slow through a sidewalk always cracks me up. Where the film fails in the comic department is the dialogue. One of the best parts of the early Zucker films is while they have amazing visual gags, they also can write dialogue that makes you really laugh. Most of the jokes here felt forced, and really fell flat.

With a premise like 'Deathrow Gameshow' you would expect some pretty interesting death scenes, but they're really run of the mill. Electrocutions are the most popular, and don't really do much in terms of shock a response out of the viewer. The only real original death is an old lady (case of mistaken identity) runs through an fire themed obstacle course holding two canisters of gasoline. I'd say spoiler alert, but I don't think anyone cares. She makes it to the end, but blows up by a shoddy table with two candles.

'Deathrow Gameshow' was a real bust. I was expecting greatness, and got amateurish buffoonery. The film uses its low budget to its best abilities, but really can't find its ground between Horror and Comedy. The actors read their lines, but I don't believe they are enjoying themselves. Perhaps it's the quest was better than the treasure, but a film like 'Deathrow Gameshow' should make me feel like a winner. Instead I feel like a guy playing on the couch at home.

'Deathrow Gameshow' is available on DVD from Brentwood Home Video, but is currently Out Of Print.

Rating: 2 out of 5 Trash Bags

Original Trailer on YouTube

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Critters (1986)

Some say that imitation is the best form of flattery; others call it plagiarism. Either way, imitation has led to some horrendous rip-offs and inspired variations. For every 'Friday the 13th' there's 'House of Death'. 'Godzilla' and 'Gorgo'. George Romero's 'Dawn of the Dead' is responsible for almost 80% of zombie films from 1978 to 1983.

Then there are the films that claim they were written prior to those films. The film 'Critters' is one of them. I mean sure, you can try to cover your ass but I mean come on. If Steven Spielberg and Joe Dante's 'Gremlins' wasn't a hit at the box office I'm pretty sure New Line wouldn't have financed the film. That's the Hollywood machine sadly. What film is your film like, and how much money did that film make? With 'Gremlins' doing $148 million, that is more than enough convincing for studios to finance cheap films about dangerous little creatures. 'Hobgoblins' , 'Troll', and 'Munchies' are just some of the bastardized offspring of 'Gremlins'. 'Critters' on the other hand, was a well done variation.

An asteroid flies aimlessly through space, but this is no ordinary asteroid. It is a prison designed to hold the most vicious aliens in the solar system. Apparently the most notorious, the Crites, have been captured. Of course, as this is mere minutes into the movie the Crites break loose and escape the prison with a stolen space ship. This floating mass (similar to Mojo from the X-Men comics) hires two faceless bounty hunters, whose assignment is to track down the Crites at all cost.

Meanwhile, in a rural Kansas town on Earth, a family by the name of Brown works on their farm to make a living. Daughter April (Nadine Van der Velde) is trying to get in the bathroom before school, but her brother Brad (Scott 'Grimey' Grimes) is taking his time. The typical family bickering continues until a phone call for April comes in, and it's Steve from school. Jay (Billy Green Bush), the patriarch of the family, is concerned that his daughter might not be aware of how everything, you know, works down there. His wife Helen (Dee Wallace Stone) informs him that she's known for years.

Farm handyman Charlie (Don Keith Opper) is the town drunk. It's so bad that he's even got a room setup in one of the jail cells. Harv (M. Emmet Walsh) the town sheriff tells Charlie he better get his ass in motion if he wants to keep his job. Charlie keeps on his story about how he can hear alien transmissions through is teeth, and that it ruined his chances at the pros. Charlie shows up for work, but is distracted by Brad and his homemade fireworks. When Brad's slingshot breaks and Charlie attempts to fix it. April comes home in Steve's (Billy Zane) car, and Jay tries his best to introduce himself. In testing the slingshot, Charlie misses a tin can and hits April in the ass. Brad takes the fall for Charlie, and is sent to his room without dinner. He learned his lesson; never take the blame for a drunk.

Meanwhile, in space, the bounty hunters have traced the Crites to Earth and begin finding a way to transform their play-doh faces into human bodies. The first, by the name of Ugg (Terrence Mann) searches through history for a body to duplicate, and comes across '80s rocker Johnny Steele (also played by Mann). Taking the look of a flammable rock god, in spandex, Ugg waits for his partner to transform. He's being picky, and can't find any one person over a thousand years to look like.

Night falls on the Brown farm as the family, subtract Brad/add Steve, gather for dinner. April is obviously hot to trot as she's all up on Steve's crotch under the table. She grabs Steve to go for a "drive", which is code to go fuck in the barn. Jay brings his punished son some food, and confiscates Brad's slingshot. All of the sudden the Crites ship lands on their yard, and start on the prowl for food. After devouring a cow the Crites aim towards the town, and the Brown family home. Will the bounty hunters be able to save the family in time, or will they have to defend the planet themselves?

For this viewing of 'Critters' I was able to view one of the few remaining 35mm prints at The Coolidge Corner Theater. This film was another staple for many young horror viewers as it was PG-13, and could be seen by a studio's biggest demographic; teens. Then with that, video rental and cable brought the film to a whole new generation. One of my favorite things about 'Critters' is how the film finds great moments to add humor into the script. Whether it be from the Crites themselves, or from the town folks there are many moments to lighten to mood.

The main attraction in films like 'Critters' and 'Gremlins' are the special effects. How the creatures interact with the human players is clutch. If the movements are too jerky the effect looses credibility with the audience. The effects in 'Critters' are pretty fun, but not really packing the WOW factor you had from the effects of 'Gremlins'. The Crites are about ankle high, but are like piranha on crack. A pack of four can devour a cow in under ten minutes, and strip a human clean in under five. I enjoy the effects of the Chiodo Brothers (they also directed, and did the effects for 'Killer Klowns from Outer Space'), but I'm not really scared of the Crites. I feel like I can kick them pretty easily, or at the very least burn them with a cigarette and hairspray.

The script contains the typical family pitfalls. Brother and sister rivalry. The father trying to accept his son. The mother trying to hold on to everything. It's all pretty run of the mill, and the acting does help with the cliches. Dee Wallace Stone is in my opinion just as likable here as she was in 'E.T.', and I'm always a fan of M. Emmet Walsh. Billy Zane in one of his first rolls is just there to be Critter bait, and his death is only slightly memorable for some chomped fingers and munched guts.

'Critters' may be a product of the '80s, but there are elements that hold up well for today. It's campy, and fun. A time capsule into when special effects involved material and hand, not a computer. I do recommend 'Critters', but it's more of a last on the list type of movie. While entertaining, the film doesn't really pack too big of a punch action wise. There are a few parts where the threat of eight Crites isn't as menacing as it should have been. 'Critters' spawned a slew of sequels. The second film, 'The Main Course', is my favorite of the series. The body count is higher, and more time to showcase the Crites in action. The third features Leonardo DiCaprio, and it's pretty shitty. However, it's not as shitty as 'Critters 4'. The Crites attacking a spaceship, and there is a marine with a huge drug problem trying to fight them. It's pretty bad.

'Critters' is available on DVD from New Line Cinema, and is also available in a box set with all four films.

Rating: 3 1/2 out of 5 Trash Bags

Original Trailer on YouTube

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Street Trash (1987)

"To alcohol; the cause of AND solution to all of life's problems" - Homer J. Simpson

The above quote couldn't be more accurate of the film 'Street Trash'. A vile beverage that causes those who partake to melt, and parts of your body just fall off. Well normally that would equal a pretty grotesque movie, but here we have people melting into neon reds, blues, greens, and yellows.

This review will be a little bit different as this viewing of 'Street Trash' was at the wonderful Coolidge Corner Theater, and they have the fantastic local metal band Sexcrement kicking off the evening.

Sexcrement started the evening off right at midnight with an awesome set. I've seen these guys a few times in the past, and they were just as enjoyable as ever. A little weird seeing them in a seated arrangement. Kind of like sitting during Slayer at Ozzfest. I'd imagine most of the people who watch films like 'Street Trash' like extreme metal, but I'd also think there were some people who were appalled at the music. Those are the people who classify Disturbed, and Godsmack as metal. Ugh.

After they finished up their set, assistant program manager Mark Anastasio introduced the film with a contest for a DVD of 'Street Trash' and some original lobby cards provided by the writer/producer, Roy Frumkes. Three (un)lucky contestants volunteered for a contest to drink some homemade Tenafly Viper, the drink causing people to melt. The goal between the three contestants was to see who could finish their respective drinks the fastest. In a 1, 2, 3 order they all finished their drinks, and walked away with prizes from The Coolidge. Not only can you see rare, and great films you can also get free shit.

With that the lights dimmed, and a few trailers for some coming attractions. Next weekend the classic 'Critters' will be eating its way to the cinema, and the trailer for the bat-shit crazy looking 'The Last Circus'. All I know about 'Last Circus' is that it's about clowns who murder. Sounds good to me.

The film begins in the desolate wastelands of suburban New York. Hobos rule the streets, and will do most anything to stay drunk and alive. Local liquor store owner Ed finds a sealed crate in the bottom of his basement, and notices that it's been a liquor that hasn't been sold for almost 60 years, Tenafly Viper. All sorts of characters run into Ed's liquor store, and one is Fred who is the antagonist of the film. Fred and his younger brother Kevin have been runaways for a few years, and it's been especially hard on Kevin. The boys live in a junkyard in a makeshift tire house. Very time consuming, but they probably paid other hobos in booze to help.

The junkyard is not a free place though, and is ruled by Bronson, a Vietnam vet who had some pretty fucked experiences as a hitman. All booze, and cash are brought to him by the dozens of homeless troops. With Ed selling the Viper for only $1 it's an easy sale for those who don't have much to spend. The drink however, might have been spoiled as any internal consumption causes melting and or exploding. Something tells me this product was not FDA approved.

This movie is one of the reasons I started this blog. From the first time I saw this on VHS when I was a youngin', I was entranced by the brutal imagery, and yet laughing my fucking ass off with the tongue-in-cheek black humor. The acting is one of the things that really shines for me here. Everyone looks to be loving their role, and enjoying the absurdity of the premise. The direction by Jim Muro is fantastic. One of my all-time favorite shots in any movie is when a steady-cam is used to maneuver through the rubble of a building to highlight the hobo melting into a toilet. It's a pretty iconic cult image.

Then there's the special effects. These are some of my favorite low budget effects outside of Troma Entertainment, and that to me is a huge compliment. We see people melt all over the place; toilets, sidewalks, and even a guy exploding! It's all very funny, and allows for a very enjoyable film. Even though this is a movie focusing on the melting we are also given an impressive villain in junkyard warlord, Bronson. Bronson was a Vietnam vet who is experiencing very HEAVY flashbacks. You can tell he's not all there, and the portrayal by Vic Noto is really intense.

I cannot endorse 'Street Trash' highly enough. It's offensive, violent, hysterical, and great fun! I was very pleased to be able to see the original print at The Coolidge Corner Theater, and hope this won't be the last time on the big screen. 'Street Trash' is available on DVD from Synapse Films, and comes in the spectacular Meltdown Edition which contains a two-hour documentary. Easily one of the best documentaries I've seen as a bonus feature, and the work that went into it really shows.

Later this week check out my interview with assistant program manager, Mark Anastasio about the work that goes into tracking these prints down, and his love for 35mm!

Rating: 5 out of 5 Trash Bags

Original Trailer on YouTube

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Waxwork (1988)

Sometimes I wonder how many people get as weirded out by wax museums as I do. I'm a little hard pressed to see why anyone would want to see wax replicants of celebrities and notable historians. It's just all too creepy for me. All those eyes following you. Fucking terrifying, but I guess that's why it's a great location for a horror film. The best example is obviously the Vincent Price classic 'House of Wax', and deservedly so. Price's chilling portrayal of villain Henry Jarrodd is one of my favorites in history. To be frank, I found the 2005 version (yeah, the Paris Hilton one) to be pretty fun. It was stupid, but knew what it was and executed it well.

Most wax museum themed films tend to riff off the vibe of someone either turning their victims into wax creations, or a murderer stalking nubile teens amongst the scenery. In 1988 director Anthony Hickox shat all over that formula by offering this; what if the display was a portal to the world depicted?

A violent struggle between two men breaks out in the study of a castle. Yes, a castle. A man's head is thrust into the fire, and simply dies. The assailant then smashes open a glass case, stealing the objects that lay inside. Pretty fucking intense way to open a movie, but the mood is lightened by a upbeat jazz number.

We flash forward an unknown number of years to see two young girls. Both China (Michelle Johnson) and Sarah (Deborah Foreman) are on there way to school, but are stopped by an interesting new building in the neighborhood. The Waxwork is operated by David Lincoln (David Warner) who invites the girls, along with up to 4 others, to get a sneak-peek at the new museum. It's always at midnight, and it's always the man with the sleek blazer and charming accent.

Mark (Zach Galligan) is in a fight with his W.A.S.P. of a mother who is denying her son some coffee; she really doesn't want him to grow up. Storming off to class his butler hands him his caffeine (coffee), and his nicotine (smokes). How do we to relate to these characters? If I had a butler handing me coffee and cigarettes I sure as shit wouldn't be working a full time job, that's for sure. Mark meets up with the rest of the gang in history class, lectured by an obvious Nazi sympathizer. Apparently, China and Mark have broken up, and she's opening the hanger, so to speak.

China and Sarah tell the gang (Tony, James, Gemma and Mark) about the viewing at the Waxwork while hanging out after school. A few find the option amusing while others would rather sit at home, and watch monster movies. They decide to venture over at midnight, but James and Gemma bail. This leaves China, Sarah, Mark, and Tony to venture into the museum. The door opens, and NO ONE IS THERE! Oh, wait. There is the guy who played Alf. That was actually the actor in Alf's costume. He's three feet tall.

Then they go into the display room, and it is beyond anything they've seen, but when Tony drops his zippo in the Werewolf display, he is transported to the world depicted. Where a pissed off Gimli (John Rhys-Davies) is transforming into a woflman, and Tony gets got. The camera pans away from the display to show the body of this asshole slumped against the back wall. China on the other hand just waltzed into the Count Dracula display where she's to be the bride of the Count. She too, gets got and is added to the display. Sarah and Mark must now find out what happened to their friends, but who knows what awaits them in the 'Waxwork'. Mu-ha-ha-ha.

The concept of the display is the ghost, and those who enter are transported to that time is pretty spiffy. I'm sure there was a big debate as to what monsters and villains to use for the museum, but I feel they got some good ones in there. You see 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers', 'The Invisible Man', 'The Wolfman', 'The Phantom of the Opera', 'Dracula', 'Frankenstein', 'Night of the Living Dead', and many more. The references to other films was the perfect way to add humor into the script. You can be self-aware, but still give some atmosphere/tension to the scenes.

One thing this movie does in spades is the gore. We see people split in half, heads ripped off, flesh skewered, and bones crushed. There were two versions of the film, but if you're able to get your hands on the DVD (comes with part 2) then you'll get the gorier, "uncensored" version. As violent as the film is it off balances with great visual gags, one-liners, and good acting. Zach Galligan is as fun here as he was in 'Gremlins', and has even more fun with the role as he can swear all he wants. Cock. Balls.

Anthony Hickox does a great job with the visuals in the film, almost replicating the look of the films the displays are based on, but with his own eye. He also has a great detail for minor characters as some of the people in the ghost displays steal their respective scenes. I must admit, seeing John-Rhys Davies in a period werewolf story seems pretty fucking awesome. Hollywood, get on that.

'Waxwork' is an absolute blast from start to finish. Never too serious, but always on the offensive it shows it's affection for horror cinema of yore on its sleeve. With great directing, special effects, and acting it's a real treat for those looking for something a little self-referential. Take that, 'Scream'. 'Waxwork' is available on DVD from Lionsgate Entertainment, and also streams on Netflix a few times a year.

Rating: 5 out of 5 Trash Bags

Original Trailer on YouTube

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