Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Revenge of the Teenage Vixens from Outer Space (1985)

The mystique of watching movies after midnight was hugely appealing to me in my youth. Of course everyone raves about Cinemax, but my tastes were left to those stations who showed B-movies ranging from the 1950's to the 1990's. In the early '90s stations like USA, and TNT would have late night horror shows on weekend nights. This is how I would see films like 'The Toxic Avenger', 'Return of the Living Dead', 'The Gate' and many other Horror and Cult movies.

It took me a long time to track down 'Revenge of the Teenage Vixens from Outer Space', but I am happy I was able to get a VHS copy of it. As I've said many times before the appeal of watching these films on tape really adds to the charm. One evening in my childhood I remember seeing portions of this movie after my parents had gone to sleep. Like a sore thumb the images of "aliens" zapping teenagers into vegetables was awe-inspiring. I mean shit, even at 26 the concept is still pretty fantastic.

Our story unfolds in the sleepy little town of Mayfield. The school kids all hang out at your a-typical lover's lane, and talk about their lives. Suddenly, like out of a cliche, comes 4 sexy women. It appears these aren't your normal exchange students. In fact, these are horny Vixens from outer space!

There is an issue on their planet however. They have no men, and the only way they can reproduce is by fingering plants. It's pretty gross. During the airing of Elvis Presley on the Ed Sullivan show in 1956 we got the top half of his waist, and the vixen's planet got the lower half. Stealing the boys from all their girlfriends, the Vixen's sexual appetites are not quenched, and begin turning all those in the stand in their way into giant pickles, tomatoes, corn, and even squash!

The film clocks around 72 minutes. They setup the plot right off the bat, and go for broke with horrible dialogue, and even worse effects. This is hilarity in the style of Ed Wood, and it's really that bad. The worst part of the 'Revenge of the Teenage Vixens from Outer Space' is that it's really trying to be a parody, but it fails to see that it's become what it wanted to be. It's got awful effects where a man's face starts to bubble, turn orange, and then BAM! He's a fucking carrot.

The editing is awful, but that's what you get for a movie that was made over the course of 4 years. Started in 1981 you can see characters with different hair styles, different heights and even higher voices. The style of hair for some of these actors is just the worst. The female lead, whose name doesn't matter, has Davy Jones bangs and shockingly can't pull it off. It just takes your eyes away from the slight mustache I suppose.

You can tear apart movies like this all you want, but at the end of the day they're just hysterical. Films like 'Plan 9 from Outer Space' would probably not have been as prevalent if it were made by someone less delusional than Ed Wood. It's topical because the guy made well marketed shit, and loved doing it. The charm you find in an Ed Wood film is very present in 'Revenge of the Teenage Vixens from Outer Space'. It's not good, but damned if it ain't funny.

'Revenge of the Teenage Vixens from Outer Space' is available on VHS from Continental Video, and DVD from Sovereign Pictures.

Rating: 3 out of 5 Trash Bags

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