Episode 08 - Warrior of the Lost World (1983)

Download this episode (right click and save)

Trash Pile Love Notes: Pacific Rim

After being a few weeks removed from my viewing of Guillermo Del Toro's 'Pacific Rim' I have found myself wanting to re-explore the world of Jaegers and Kaiju again. While it's not uncommon to find myself wanting to see a film again so soon, there's something about 'Pacific Rim' that's different.

The theaters have been devoid of giant monsters since 'Cloverfield' back in 2008, and while that may not be the most shining example of a Kaiju film it still was entertaining enough to show that the public would still pay to see strange creatures. So, here we are, five years later, and there's been one giant monster movie released and one due to come out next year. Some may claim that Gareth Edward's 'Monsters' is a giant monster movie, I say it's a movie featuring giant monsters. Still a good movie, but big difference.

Kaiju and giant monster movies have been a part of the American film culture since the original 'King Kong' in 1933. The interesting note is that outside of the "Big Bug" films of the 50's through the early 60's, American film companies didn't make too many giant monster movies. I guess you can blame that on kids' attention moving towards the space race, but Asian filmmakers were able to incorporate that into their stories. I guess you could say that's how the monster movie transcended that culture shift.

In terms of building sized monsters, we were without a major presence in the theater from the first 'King Kong' remake in 1977 to 'Godzilla 1985' in, um, 1985. After that Godzilla film failed to scare up big numbers in the States, it was another thirteen years until the horrid, yet surprisingly fun, Roland Emmerich 'Godzilla' remake in 1998. Looking at that timeline of monsters it's surprising that Legendary Films and Warner Brothers had the balls to give Del Toro the tools to make the biggest Kaiju film of all time.

The scale of 'Pacific Rim' is so grand that it couldn't have truly been captured in one film, but Del Toro did his damnedest. With the comic prequel 'Year Zero' the audience was able to see how the initial attack in San Francisco took place. From there, we dive right into the arc of the film, and without missing a beat, we fly through the runtime. It's here where the film succeeds for me:  I didn't realize that the time had passed so quickly since I was having so much fun.

So when it became time to tally those U.S. box office numbers, it was upsetting to see such a low performance. I suppose the main reason it is upsetting is that 'Pacific Rim' is a very well crafted summer movie. It's not high art, but it's a movie that succeeds in knowing its audience, and to me that is one of the most important parts of making movies. Thankfully the foreign markets understand the value of entertainment, and the financial returns have been solid overseas.

At the end of the day, there are a few reasons why 'Pacific Rim' failed in the states, but it's not the end of the world. With strong support from fans when the film hits digital and disc this fall, the studio will see that there is an interest in a continuation from Del Toro. When a film that works so well struggles to find its audience, I've found that those who do enjoy it rally to support it. Much like 'Dredd', 'Pacific Rim' is a film that needs those who enjoyed it to stand up, and say "Hey! This movie is a lot of fun, and will provide more entertainment than ______." I left that blank to fill in any movie title, but you get my point. Now, where were my Godzilla action figures...

Hamburger: The Motion Picture (1986)

When 'Porky's' hit it big in the early '80s, a wave of sex comedies aimed at teens were excreted from every producer in and out of Hollywood. A low budget sex romp was almost guaranteed ROI for anyone wanting to make a name for themselves, so we were "given" films like 'Hot Resort' with Bronson Pinchot. That's not to say that there aren't some genuinely funny moments in these films, but it's like finding a stack of cash in a port-a-potty. You may have come up on top, but you still had to wade through a lot of shit.

The appropriately named 'Hamburger: The Motion Picture' was a cover that I had seen plastered in almost every mom 'n pop video store I had been in. What pre-teen wouldn't be excited over naked women busting out of a giant hamburger? Well, I guess kids nowadays wouldn't be interested, but that's for a different blog. Throughout the years, I had wondered if a DVD release of this film was to ever happen, let alone some type of streaming capability via Netflix. Low and behold, a VHS copy happened to be in a lot we had purchased.

'Hamburger: The Motion Picture' tells the story of Russell, a college man whose studies have gone astray due to the copious amount of intercourse he enjoys. The ladies just can't have enough Russell, and it's caused him to be expelled from four different universities. While getting reamed out by his parents at home, a commercial for Buster Burger University appears on TV. Russell enrolls at BBU, and finds himself at the mercy of Drootin, the drill sergeant of making hamburgers. Also, because this movie is full of cliches, Russell also finds himself falling for the Buster Burger heiress, who also happens to be engaged to Drootin. Will Russell overcome his slacker lifestyle? Will he defeat Drootin and get the girl? Find out in 'Hamburger: The Motion Picture"!



Before we continue, please try to enjoy the opening credits of this film:

The absurdity of this movie is summed in the opening credits. The song sounds like a mesh of Bon Jovi and  Bruce Springsteen, while featuring a montage of delicious hamburgers. What a shit show. It's horribly edited, and tells you that Americans are fucking fat and eat a ton of meat. So, here's a view into a satirical take on a franchise restaurant like McDonald's, add a mix of characters from better films and you have 'Hamburger: The Motion Picture'. It's not a bad film by any stretch of the imagination, but in no way is it any good either.

There are really only three standout performances in the entire film, and that is from the lead portrayed by Leigh McClosky, Charles Tyner who plays the founder of Buster Burger and Dick Butkus; just because it's the greatest name ever. In terms of comedy, the film only has a few standout moments, but that seems to be from a weak script. I don't see fault in the actors, but more so in the mediocre script by Donald Ross. Not familiar with the name? Well, unless you were watching a shit-load of 'Murder She Wrote' or 'Small Wonder' that doesn't surprise me. It seems like this was his first break in writing a film script, but he should have put this dud back on the grill.

At the end of the day, 'Hamburger: The Motion Picture' will fade into obscurity. There's nothing original in the film, and outside of a few physical gags and one-liners, there is not much to recommend. With a wide array of 80's sex comedies to choose from, you're better off going with a tried and true classic.

Rating: 2 out of 5 Trash Bags

IMDB

Amazon Page

Wikipedia Page